HeartNote, April 29, 2019: Talk...etc.

Sometimes, when the ol' coach here screws up it's important that I lay it out for you so you don't step in the same pile I did. This happened yesterday:

I saw my friends Bill and Katie, so wonderful it is impossible to spend less than two hours together at any stretch. I love them both and they are just interesting and engaging as two people could be. Smart, funny, kind and they absolutely mean the world to me...

...and I think I blew it. Again. And I will explain.

To me, there is nothing more intimate that conversation. You know the biblical phrase, "When two or more are gathered in my name, I am there, too?"

When Bill and Katie are with you, God is laughing her ass off.

Unless, of course, you're talking. And talking. And talking...

I cannot begin to tell you how many times throughout my life I have been told to "shut up," "please be quiet," "okay, that's enough now" and "if you don't stop talking right now I swear I'll cut your tongue out of your head and shove it down your throat."

It started when would get in trouble for talking in school. It gets me in trouble now. You'd think I'd learn.

I just get so excited when I see people I really love. But if they make the mistake of saying, "So, what have you been up to?" it's over. I respond with unyielding blather in an attempt to both harness my excitement and become suddenly interesting.

I'm often too insecure to let others speak first. I want to be liked, well thought of, and reassured that I'm a good person.

So many of us are guilty of this. It isn't the worst thing you can do. And if your friends love you back, they know you're talking to keep yourself from peeing from excitement or feeling uncomfortable in the silence...which can also make you pee, I suppose, but I digress.

This is the bottom line of most folks who just can't stop talking are sometimes just a little insecure and afraid.

Talk is a controlling variable of life. Words take over. If insecurities rise, as well as the harnessing need for approval, the sentences run into one another in an unending rush.

It happens on your side of your screen, just breathe a little between sentences. You'll hold back for a second. You'll relax a little and ease into the next conversation without having to be at its center. At the very least, your deep breath gives somebody else a chance to interrupt. At best, you can collect yourself and enjoy the stories of your friends you haven't seen for a while. And you won't have to fight back the urge to pee.


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