HeartNote, August 13, 2019: Stopping the Need to be Right

It's unnecessary. And alienating.

We're speaking about relationships, interpersonal relationships between friends, family members, co-workers and especially strangers. This about covers it. So if there's a population of people that I neglected to include, feel free to put them on the list, too.

Our need to be right is directly connected to our need to be heard. This is a synonymous with the need to be respected, recognized and valued.

Many of us who have needed to hoist our opinion upon the shoulders of another have created a distance from our hearts to theirs. We have replaced it with a subordinating relationship that has minimized the voice and opinion of another for the sake of our needing to feel elevated.

To be right is closely equivalent to being egotistical. You cannot be at peace, in the spirit of acceptance and love, and fuel the need to be correct. There are times, true, that a sense of rightness over encroachment, pain, and suffering must be expressed. But within our interpersonal relationships, this is rarely if ever the case.

I have lost friends over my anger, insistence, and overarching need to be right. Trouble is, I can't remember what it was I needed to be right about. I just know I miss my friends. And their loss has been so painful that I've surrendered this need, and I continue to catch myself if these feelings come up again.

I know the need to be right reflects a momentary lack of confidence and ease within me. I respond now when I see it coming, and apologize immediately when its color clouds the conversation.

Please be at ease with all of your friends, particularly those that on occasion irritate with their own need to be correct. They are demonstrating a slight expression of the emotionally fragile ego states and conditions I've just explained.

Let them know you love them, and that it doesn't matter what opinions that have.

Tell them that It only matters that they are with you.

They'll feel better. And they'll quiet down, too.


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