HeartNote, February 14, 2020: Friendship and The Lost Blog

Here's the deal:

I wrote this great essay about the last thing that sustains a friendship, and even added an Oscar Wilde quote to drive home the point: "Ultimately, the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation."

Then I wrote this touching, thoughtful essay about how conversation is the keystone to friendship. Then I lost it. Can't find it anywhere. But it was great. You would've loved it.

So the following isn't going to be all that profound, but I have to get this out. I try to post my essays by 6pm PST and I have to rush. So here's the gist:

1) Love never dies. It's just compartmentalized. It just is. Just believe it. Thirty freakin' years as a psychotherapist/social worker/life coach/one, almost two, divorces/watching a ton of people find their way back to the path of love/blah blah blah will develop a little discernment when it comes to this "Love Thang." When you love somebody, no matter how big of a selfish, angry, revenge riddled jerk they've become, the feeling of goodness toward them is still within you. A compartment of your heart is always holding your love for them, it's just not going to be released anytime soon for good reason, like the ones I just mentioned.

2) The essays I've written this week, particularly the thing about Acceptance and just "getting" one another is a foundation for friendship, but it will remain dormant until we talk to one another again.

3) Friendship is built on commonality and history. We don't just love one another, we really like each other, and that's from a long road travelled together. It's that "like" thing that sustains things like laughter, ease, and all that other stuff that keeps our interest in one another.

4) When we want to take another swing at friendship or sustain the ones we hold, the common, shared elements of the things we "like" starts the conversation. That's the matchstick of engagement. That lights the flame of friendship again, even if we're still a little pissed at each other. Love rekindles. Then the anger has a chance to melt.

5) Don't you love the match/rekindles/melt metaphors? Yeah, I took Junior High English, too. Look, I'm in a hurry here.

6) Last thing: Conversation sustains the gift of Friendship, and allows understanding to bloom. Acts of love, gifts, time, affection...yeah, all great. Conversation precedes all of it.

Big Windup and Lesson for Today: Just talk. Kindly. Openly. Put wings on your words. Let those suckers fly with energy and heartfelt sentiment. This holds us together. Keep the sentences flowing.

Wish this was a little more artsy/craftsy, but you get the point.

Happy Valentine's Day. Here's something chocolate.


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