HeartNote, January 13, 2020: "I'll Get Back To You..."


I'm certain that this is a phrase that you've used repeatedly. And I'm equally certain that, with repeated usage, you are guilty of violating that intent.

I mean, the term"violating" is a little harsh, I get that. But the use is intentional. This needs to be brought to its most egregious point of compromise because-and I say this with all seriousness-it's a lousy thing to put out there if you don't intend follow through.

And most of us don't. We have little or no intent to "get back" to the person we're speaking with. The line's often used to end a conversation. It's a throwaway, a discard, an ending.

Not something that means you'll actually "get back" to the person.

Don Miquel Ruiz talks about being "impeccable" with your word, the Latin means "without sin." In short, don't say anything you don't mean sincerely and with some thought. You're lying, whether it is intentional or not. Lying is an act of omission or commission, and this line falls into the parameters of both.

We have to think before we speak, but not many of us know how that's done. I'm not kidding. So I'm offering a technique to help you say what you mean.

Here's lesson number one: Breathe, Welk it, and Speak. This is a "one, two, three" technique literally done in under two seconds. There will be no noticeable or discernible break in the time of any conversation you have if you just do these three short steps.

1) Breathe: Duh, but this is just an inhale before you speak.

2) "Welk it:" This is to enumerate how long your pause needs to be before you speak: "And a one and a..." This is all you need. It is attributable to the bandleader and inexplicably successful Lawrence Welk, who frequently cued his orchestra to begin by saying "And a one, and a..." He never got to "two." You won't, either.

3) Speak, but speak on the exhale. "Well, (breathe) let me see about when we can talk or see one another again" is far more honest and engaged. Carries more meaning from you and, as a result, to the person receiving the sentiment.

Don't tell somebody you'll call them back if you don't mean it. When you think about it, it will rest more deeply in your memory.

Tomorrow, we'll talk about the Card Trick of Follow Through. Helps you to remember. This should be a good week.


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