HeartNote, January 25, 2019: Apologies are Meaningless

Without any follow-up, offering an apology is like writing a bad check. There's nothing in your emotional "account" that you can offer to cover your statement.

Apologies are not an amends. Let me make that clear: An amends is a behavioral expression of change. You begin to do things differently. You’re not just mouthing the words. Your behavior is your "deposit" to strengthen someone's trust.

Many of us apologize and really do mean it. You say what you mean, and the response demonstrates the change. Some of us have a nearly instant form of awareness, and the pain or conflict they caused in another just one time is enough to change their behavior forever.

The rest of us, however, could use a little practice.

Don’t say something if you’re either 1) trying only to end or suspend the conflict or 2) knowing that in a few days, the issue that began the conflict will arise again.

I have struggled with this, too. We all have. Just be mindful of it, give your words attention, and it helps improve the connection between your head and your heart.

This is THE MOST common mistake people make in their relationships, friendships, and to themselves. Make a promise to yourself that you will follow up your words with action. Go to acoachforyourheart.com if you need a little help. I’m happy to work with you on this.


  • Pinterest Social Icon
  • White Facebook Icon
  • Instagram - White Circle
  • White Twitter Icon

© 2018 COACH FOR YOUR HEART - Personal Life Coach Services. All rights reserved.