In seventh grade, I was in the basement fiddling with a guitar, learning the three chords. Put together, they played one song. Wasn't that wild about the song so I thought that might be it. My fingers hurt and I wasn't really inspired to continue this for my benefit. It was a little too hard.
My older brother had come home from Western Illinois University after his first year in college. He saw me putting down the guitar and said, "You know, all the girls in college like the guy that plays the guitar."
I grabbed the guitar and learned more songs. I had a cause outside of myself. At that time, it was to be noticed by girls. And, in the process, I'd learn to play the instrument a little better.
Practice because there's a payoff. I want to be a better person because I want my wife, kids, grandkids and friends to feel easier around me. I want to be free from anger and anxiety, being an example for happiness and acceptance. I want to feel like the person I know I've always had inside me.
I want to play the instrument of my spirit in a different key, with different melodies, that will result in the harmony among me and those I love.
So I practice. I meditate, visualize, breathe, and let go of my anger. I want these years to be the best of my life for those I love, for the friends I miss, and for my relationships to be salvaged, nurtured, and given a new start. I want people to trust that I'll always be a kind, loving person no matter the stress or stimulation.
That's my motivation. Share yours with me. I want this so badly for all of you. Please keep on this path. Together, we'll be the persons we were meant to be.