HeartNote, June 6, 2019: Stosny, Part 2

I'm quoting directly from Steven Stosny's Anger Management Program:

"Anger is the most physical of all emotions - it prepares our bodies to fight. Even low grade anger produces physiological changes. These are generally increased respiratory rate and tension in the jaw and muscle groups of the body. Write what arousal feels like in areas of your body: (Think hard to answer each question. Do not write, “nothing” or “N/A”. That would mean you are dead. Such answers must include a note from the coroner.)"

"The goal of reconditioning is to build a skill the brain can use automatically, in a fraction of a second, to reach Core Value when aroused with anger or resentment or obsessions. Just like basic training in the military, it takes lots of practice to develop a skill and make it part of your automatic response to stress. To make it automatic takes about six weeks of 12 repetitions per day, associated with imagined or recalled anger or resentment. Like all skill acquisition, this reconditioning exercise is hard at first but gets much easier with practice. It took you a long time to learn how to drive, but now you do it without thinking. The same was true of learning to ride a bike. You will reap the reward of rising self-value and wellbeing, with diminishing effort."

Essentially, Stosny asks you to think of an example that got you really angry. Then feel it the agitation in your body. Then, start thinking about the self talk that comes up with you're upset: "There they go again! They'll never stop! Here we go again!!!

From that point, YOU STOP YOURSELF and say/think the words "Core Value, Core Value, Core Value." Stosny then gives a list of eight things that have inherent value to yourself, then recognizing the Core Value of the person that made you angry, ending with the questions, "Will I solve this better from a place of anger and resentment or from my Core Value?...Which is the most genuine, nonreactive me?"

What I want you all to do is go to the website "compassionpower.com" and go through what you think is useful for you. Twelve repetitions a day isn't much when you consider using them only one minute per hour.

This works. Takes practice. But it's six weeks of daily practice to release your anger permanently.

Please check out his website, "compassionpower.com"


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