HeartNote, March 12, 2019: What you tell the younger you.

Those who had tough childhoods reconcile the ghosts of the past. We heard the words spoken to us in anger. These messages about our shortcomings echo in our hearts. We shoulder them. We believe them. And we repeat them in our consciousness, even as adults.

We articulate the criticisms of our youth whenever we've made a mistake or fallen short. "What were you thinking?" "You're such an idiot," and the heavyweight champion of all insults, "How could you be so stupid?" are just a few of the demeaning sentiments that we repeat to ourselves to reinforce our feeling of worthlessness.

We use the same lines from the same script that many of us heard as a child. We play that same tape in our heads, except this time it's not the voice of a parent or a teacher or the bully in the playground. Not anymore.

Instead, the voice we hear is our own. Repeating what we've heard as a child, we turn those words onto ourselves. We become that echo, using the same words against us that were first heard as a young child.

Refrain from criticising yourself in the same fashion you were criticized when you were young. Find quick forgiveness to your mistakes. These vibrations of demoralization that result from assigning failure to even the smallest mistakes are corrosive to the spirit. They keep you emotionally stagnant. They do no good, whatsoever.

When you nurture yourself in times of error, you're taking the sting out of your words of your past. You're not parroting the harshness of your childhood that was so demeaning and discouraging. You let go. You look the other way. And the memories of that ugliness fades.

Find a new voice to address that child within you. Be kind to yourself and to him. Forgive him. Laugh at the mistakes. Know that in a week, even a day, things change. Stresses pass. Lightness takes over.

Believe in yourself. That little kid within you appreciates it.


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