HeartNote, March 18, 2019: "The Work"

As part of the human race, I think it's the goal to be calm in all conditions. Restraint, humility, ease, all the components of a balanced disposition, need to be the foundation of our emotional composition. It's good for us, and it's particularly beneficial for our interpersonal relationships.

Eliminate Anger. Cast it aside forever. Learn to stop feeling devalued and inferior when we get yelled at, cut off, diminished or disrespected.

To accomplish that, and keep it as your primary condition of existence, it's work. Anything that takes us out of our comfort zone, stretches our feelings and begins to redefine our character takes practice, and consistent effort is most readily associated with the word "work."

Buddhists, for one, give "work" a lighter meaning. They focus on "attention" and, more comprehensively, "mindfulness." One would call it "awareness" more than "work" but the same effort needs to take place.

My "work" is five things a day: Read, Write, Meditate, Exercise and Loop (that's a two minute, ten times a day awareness exercise that helps replace anger with forgiveness.) On a good day, I get all of these in.

Most days, however, I get in a couple. And on those days, I try to avoid stressful encounters and be aware of my feelings, because I know I'm not prepared for conflict or frustration. I have to manage my environment instead of my emotions, and this is far more difficult than just doing the "work" to practice and make more efficient my sense of peace.

If you play an instrument, you know that your practice helps you feel where your fingers should go. How long you hold the note. When to play a little softer. Practicing the instrument of your emotions gives you the same familiarity.

Practice helps "work" become a default condition in our character. The results-patience, acceptance, understanding, and calm-can be our "go to" disposition when we are under stress. Most of us, including the person writing this essay, don't always hit the mark.

So we have to practice. We have to "work." It really doesn't take that much effort. Put in the time every day. Remember to be grateful, keep breathing deeply, and stay in gratitude. Exercise, read, write, meditate and focus on calming your inner response to anger through automatic compassion.

Do the "work" for those you love. But moreover, do the work to become the person you were always meant to be.


  • Pinterest Social Icon
  • White Facebook Icon
  • Instagram - White Circle
  • White Twitter Icon

© 2018 COACH FOR YOUR HEART - Personal Life Coach Services. All rights reserved.