"When Fear knocks at the door and Faith answers, nobody's there" -Old English Proverb
In order for me to relax, and just have a sense that things are going to be just fine, I have to believe in something bigger than myself, other than myself, something that a my daughter-in-law Katharine called, "The Bigger Thing That Is Not Me."
I like the idea of God and absolutely believe in a Higher Power in some form. Here's a short list of what names I (and others) call this thing: The Universe, The Big Electron, Jesus. Allah, Buddha, Mohammed, Mother Earth, Father Sky, The Universal Pull, Love, The Big Electron, The Guy Up There, That Which Is Bigger Than and Not Me. That Tree over there is fine. Whatever I can project my faith and belief onto for just a moment can work. That entity, for a moment, can be a Higher Power, or Different Power, as long as it's not me. And I believe that, when I release my fears onto it, they're gone. To me, a Higher Power is a fa
ith based target that, once I aim my fears toward this thing, they disappear into the Ethereal Bullseye, every single time.
No, I am not schizophrenic. I have no auditory or visual hallucinations. For me, this is real.
This is fundamental for my sanity.
I was raised Catholic, I can say Hail Mary's and The Lord's Prayer faster than a jackrabbit on a date. But for years I believed in "God" but I never trusted him. I got immediate support to this lack of trust every time I read the news and turned on the TV. And still, I can recite precisely the verse, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your path." For years, I didn't believe a word of it.
But I have adopted a different perspective. There is a "Higher Power" and I'm just not sure who or what it is, at least not yet. It's still under construction. I have Jesus as my foundation, and "The Source" or "The Universe" or whatever comes up throughout the week these days. Yet I know that if I yield to it, believe that it's there, figure that it knows more and can handle more than I can. I can let go of the stuff that this huge ego of mine has established as true.
Do I still get anxious? Sure. We can have a ton of Faith and still be afraid sometimes. It's a contradiction but don't sweat it. Just part of being human.
I have known people throughout the years that have maintained an aura of stability. They collectively have a sense of faith, and sometimes it's just a "everything is going to be fine," attitude. Sometimes faith is expressed as "it's the way I see it, not the way it is, so I just have to adjust my perspective" and, as my dear friend Amelia Hill expressed her faith, she states, "Every single thing is in Divine order, and there is only good."
This week we're going to be touching a bit on this and I have three "go-to" people that I've referred to over the weeks. I'll share with you what they've said.
See you tomorrow.