If you have a temper, you've been put down, diminished and generally dismissed. With adults, feeling disrespected devalued are the biggest triggers.
Usually, this process of emotional suppression begins in your childhood. It is during this time when the sense of helplessness to respond is at its peak. Messages of being inferior on any scale contributes to the self images we hold inside ourselves today.
We exploded in frustration and hopelessness when we were young. We acquaint ourselves with anger against others, and ourselves, when we're teenagers. And we perfect the expression of anger when we develop an ego large enough to express our self centeredness and deep enough to make us believe our anger is justified.
"If we do not transcend our pain, we will continue to transmit it" is an old tenet of recovery. But there is profound truth in that statement.
Anger should not be a viable option in a standard and healthy form of interpersonal contact. I am still learning this, and I wish I learned this when my kids were young.
Therefore, to transcend it, commit to knowing that you've healed well beyond your visions of hurt. Believe in your bones that you're past the incidents of injury that place you in such a vulnerable state. And embrace with both hands the unwavering knowledge that you can instantaneously heal your pain from any affront that may hurt you.
You're bigger than your pain. Anger never helps. Believe in yourself, fearlessly and without question and, from this day forward, the good inherent in who you are will quiet your self doubt and fear forever.