Sometimes I write about things from my experience. Even though I have encountered countless people over the years, once in a while I run into a circumstance that no one has ever shared with me, but that I want to share with you.
One year ago, I said goodbye to my office. It was my home away from home. Her address was on my checking account and my driver's license. I had all my personal belongings from my high school and college years. Hung on the walls were the pictures and memories that held importance. I spent twelve hours a day there. Many days there was no other place I'd rather be in the world. I was lucky to have it for as long as I did.
But exactly one year ago, I had moved all my things out of my office, and stood there looking at the walls. Fittingly, it was dusk. The light was disappearing.
Standing there, just the two of us, I said something along the lines of the following:
"You helped me through my career. Without you, I don't know what I would've done. You insulated me, gave me a place to work, to rest, and to meet people I would never have otherwise met. Without you, I would've been lost."
"People came here and talked. You held their feelings in your walls. The echos of all those that came through your door is still held within every inch of you."
"I apologize if I let you down. I wanted to be here forever. I'm sorry that things changed. But I have never felt as at home, as relaxed, or as good about myself in any other place in my life."
I ran my fingers over her paint. I pressed both hands over the window, and said goodbye to her, too, thanking her for the view, the light, and holding out the rain.
I slowly closed her door for the final time, and cried. This change was coming, I knew, but it was so hard to say goodbye.
And I realize I just told you about how I parted from an inanimate object. But those walls absorbed the feelings of thousands of conversations, of intimacy shared and fears released.
I couldn't have left her without telling her how much I loved and appreciated all she did for me and the people with whom she shared her space.
We all move. We change locations, and we bid our goodbye's. We have waved goodbye to rooms, homes, toys, stores, theatres, and neighborhoods of our past. We revisit our steps in the streets of our childhood, remembering the cracks in the sidewalk and the signs in every storefront. We reminisce. And we hold these places within our hearts.
I told my office goodbye. I drive by now and again and I wave. Others have taken over the space.
They will never know her beauty and her strength. This place will not mean as much to them.
But I will know, always, how much she meant to me.