Renee, my New Yorker/Chicagoan friend, again, tying Peace within herself and her environment together in her own unique fashion.
"I know how things need to be run. Been all of that, done all of that. Through my career, It's my way because I have a way. And I know where everything is."
That last sentence struck me. I mentioned that I've seen her office, that is when I could get through the door. Piles of papers, books, charts. I have also seen her daughter, the Chief Operating Office of her companies, roll her eyes at her when she talks about her "way" of operating. "No, no, she knows what I mean. This is different. I didn't say I was organized, did I? I get that. I'm not hiding behind that word, not in the least. But this is how I stay calm: I know where everything is."
Offhandedly, I asked her if any of this organizational technique drove her crazy. "You're not paying attention. Let me bring this to your turf, since you're writing about this stuff. When I know where everything is, including everything about myself, I'm OK. That's how it works for me. It brings me peace."
"I know who I am. I know generally what makes me upset, happy, the whole shebang. I know me. Within me, everything has its place. Would anybody in their right mind think that I'm contained? Oh, please! It's not about organization in the more conventional sense. It's only about knowing where everything is. I have my own system, you have yours. I take a little more time to find things, but I know where everything is."
"But I know who I am. I know what i bring to the table. I am no "wilting lily" if you hadn't noticed. Warts and all, this is me. And I know where everything is. My office, my home, reflects my personality. But ask me to find something, and I'll tell you where it is. My daughter still doesn't get that. I haven't changed since I was a kid. I know where all the "stuff" is, outside and inside."
"If you're scattered, everything else will be, too. Withdrawn, reactive, angry, whatever your leading emotion is, that's how life will reflect back to you. I've got my faults, but I accept myself. I'm not everybody's cup of tea. But I'm ok with who I am, and I'm not an angry person anymore. Loud, OK. But you can even ask my ex-husbands. I'm way better today than I used to be. And that comes through a lot of self acceptance. I finally know where everything is. I don't have to wave all of it around.
But I know where all my parts are, inside and out. I find them when I have to."
"That's how I get my peace, bubbie. Tell your readers that. See if they understand. More of them will get it than you know. Most of them are just like me, I'm sure of it."