Stan is a close friend. He was recently faced with the possibility of being separated. Stan has an intermittent, self righteous temper. He's hurt a lot of people along the way, particularly those close to him, like his family. Two of his five kids don't talk to him. Sometimes he's kind of a hyper guy, but that's not his essence. Inside, he's very peaceful and quiet. That just doesn't come out much when he sees something that he feels needs correction.
His wife is pretty much a saint. I've known her for a while now, and anybody would agree. She shows you she loves you by the things she does. Old school. Words don't mean much to her, very much like our parents and grandparents. They took care of you by providing, they loved you with their actions. His wife is just that. Salt of the Earth.
Stan has been doing better, meditating and working on his fears, but he got upset at his wife's kid recently, and his wife told him to leave. In two days he found a place. When he visited this new housing alternative, Stan said, "Something changed within me."
"I went out to this place and saw how empty it was. It was furnished and everything, but my wife wasn't there. And for the first time, I got very still. And a feeling came over me I've never felt before."
"I could feel myself die a little inside. And I knew then," he said, wiping a tear from his eye, "that I can't live my life without her."
Stan said, "I don't know how people survive after their spouse dies. But when I saw that place I was about to move into, it was if she had."
"When you see evidence of your life without the person you love, something changes inside you. That place didn't have her in it. It was empty. My heart sank. And I never want to experience that possibility again."
"I love her. I don't care if she's on the other side of the house for a while, I just don't know what life would be like without her. And if I continue to be fearless, without judgment, without anger and reactivity, focusing on mindfulness, peace, and my relationships with God, I'll never find out."
"Oh, yeah," he said, "the first thing I did when I got home was say a long prayer, I mean a really long prayer, asking the Almighty for help, and to seal the deal I lit a candle in this one special candle holder. Want to know what it said?"
"With God, all things are possible."