HeartNote, September 4, 2019: Stan and the Epiphany

"Something happened, and I didn't tell you because I'd was afraid you'd think I'm insane, I mean given what you've done for a living."

Yeah, I get that.

"My wife and I had a talk. She said that she just wants the kind, good man she married. This was the only condition. I told her that this would be the only man she'd have. Anger, sarcasm, upset will no longer enter the doors of this house." She agreed. I'm back. We've said prayers every night together before we've gone to sleep. Puts a little mortar between the bricks." Stan was in construction. Good metaphor.

"The next day, I woke up. I mean, I literally. Woke. Up."

"I looked around the bedroom, and it was if it was the first time I'd seen it. Everything was brighter. The drapes, the walls, the sheets all seemed clearer."

Stan paused for a second. "You know "A Christmas Carol, the one with Alastair Sim?" Yes, I said, it's magnificent.

"Well, at the end, when he wakes up, he leans into the curtains, the ones his housekeeper sold within the vision of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come, and he said, "The curtains, they're still here...I'm here!" The housekeeper asked, "Are you quite yourself sir?" "Scrooge answered, "I hope not!"

I went into the bathroom. Walking slowly, deliberately, from the bedroom to bathroom. On the mirror I taped a quote from e.e. cummings, "I thank you God for most this amazing day,...you know that one?" Yes, I said, I did.

"OK, so the part that says, "I who have died am alive again today...?" That's it. That's exactly it. That's what happened today!"

Stan looked up at me and said, "Now, do me a favor. You're my friend. Come back to me at the first of the year. Tell me if I'm still the same man. I can promise you that I won't be. I wished I had done this years ago. I hope I can make up for the time I've lost, and retrieve and restore the relationships I've injured. I can only do this by being the man I am, not the man I was."

"I have lived to see another day. Just this day. This is the new consciousness, reminding myself of "Just this day." It helps me focus, breathe, and bask in the gratitude of simply being alive."

I said I was so happy for him, and that I would keep in touch.

"Oh," Stan said, "one more thing I should tell you. I put a suitcase at the end of my side of the bed. I told my wife that it is a reminder to what could happen if my old self returns. My wife said, "That little thing? I'll bring in a couple of big trash bags to help you out."

What an amazing woman.


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