Love and Life Hacks for Immediate Happiness

For those of us who can get depressed/anxious/hopeless/bewildered/etc very easily, frequently, and remain stuck in any of the aforementioned, the following are things you can do to launch yourself into happiness.

Or, at least, get yourself out of the headspace of all that crap I listed in the last sentence so you can go on with your day in a semblance of normal functioning. Which, now that I’m writing this, is a pretty good emotional consolation prize.

You only need two things to do any of these and make them stick.

First, and probably the hardest, is to let go of how you’re perceived, either by somebody else or yourself. The good thing, though, is when you’re depressed/anxious/hopeless/bewildered/etc, that shouldn’t be a problem because you don’t really care about anything. You even wondered whether or not you should’ve put on deodorant this morning because, hey, who cares, right? Admit it, you thought about just letting it go. And while you stink, you’re thinking that from driving your car into oncoming traffic isn’t a half bad idea.

Yeah, been there. Like, yesterday.

Back to what I was talking about. You won’t worry about how you’re perceived because you don’t care anyway. This is an absolutely fantastic way to get started.

Here’s the other thing: Just do these. Just do them. Been telling people to do this stuff for almost thirty years. They work.

-Next time you’re in the store or on a bus, stick your earphones in your ears and start humming the first thing that comes into your head. Only don’t connect the earphone to your phone. Just run on imagination. Our secret.

-When you go to McDonald’s, get your stuff then get a dollar sausage biscuit in a separate bag. On your way out, hand it to the next person you see and say, “Enjoy breakfast.”

-Pretend you’re talking to somebody on your phone and start laughing at whatever you think of. Turn off the ringer first, though.

-In the morning before you shower, turn it on as cold as you can stand it and jump in and sing at the top of your lungs, “Ah, sweet mystery of life at last I found thee.” If you need help, put the last sentence into YouTube and blast the Nelson Eddy/Jeanette McDonald version of that song.

-Louise Hay said that if you look in the mirror first thing in the morning for thirty days and say, “I love you. I really love you,” you’ll begin to actually believe it. People from Oprah to Christianne Northrup and others have tried it and swear it works.

Maybe, but I know this works: Have a cup of coffee. Maybe poop. Take a shower. Then look into the mirror and say, “You are the best looking, most charming motherf**ker I’ve ever seen! Holy sh*t, you beautiful hunk of humanness, just stay with me in the bathroom one more minute so I can stare into that extraordinary face!!!” Say it loud, and use the words with the asterisks. Helps punctuate the feeling.

Let me know how you’re doing with this. Have a good day.


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